New Year cartoon giveaway

Update: Giveaway now closed. A huge thank you for all contributions. The winners are posted below – if you are one you should have received an email.

It is January, which is when I traditionally post a desperate plea for cartoon ideas heavily disguised as a cartoon-merchandise giveaway.

The Prizes:

10 (ten) prizes of a cartoon book, or a no-longer-available-to-buy cycling cartoon tea towel (slight second). Winners will have the choice of prizes from a list that I will send them. I’d be very happy to sign or dedicate the books. I’ll send the prizes anywhere in the world.

Plus… I may add a mystery prize or two, depending on how the mood takes me.

How to enter:

Post one or more cartoon ideas in the comments below. (The comment must be on this site, not on social media). Ideas can be a topic you’d like me to cover, or something more finished with descriptions of pictures, etc. It can be a church-themed cartoon idea, or something else entirely. Ideas don’t have to be any good.

Rules:

1. I can change the rules
2. Entires must be made here and not on Facebook/Twitter. Reason: I use a random number generator to choose the winners, and that really only works if all answers are in the same place and not scattered here/there/everywhere. It is also difficult to print tweets out for reference.
3. One entry per person will count towards the prize. But you’re welcome to send as many ideas as you’d like.
4. Prize-winners will be chosen at random from all entries given. I will contact you to ask for a postal address, so make sure the email address you use (kept hidden on this site, of course) is current.
5. I reserve the right to use any of the ideas given. When people send me an idea that I use I try to send them an image file of the cartoon, but I sometimes forget.

Closing date: 10pm UK time, Thursday 19 January 2017. I’ll post a list of winners the following day.

If entries don’t appear straight away it is because comments by new commenters are moderated.

Thanks in advance for all ideas given. Ideas sent to me via competitions like this or just via email at other times are always hugely appreciated and make it possible for me to keep this cartooning thing going.

Update: Giveaway now closed. The winners, chosen at random*:

Anne, Richard, Andrew Steer, Andrew Dunlop, Peter Henry, Anne Dowdeswell, Helen, Dave, Wendy, Amy

A huge thank you for all contributions. I will do another giveaway before too long. Subscribe to the blog, or follow on Twitter to be sure to hear about it.

*In-depth technical note about my methodology. I use an online random number generator to choose the comment numbers, being sure to discard any results that are repeat posts so that each person has an equal chance.

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Cartoon giveaway winners

winner-706

Thank you to everyone who entered my cartoon giveaway for all of the ideas. I have printed them all on sheets of paper, and they will form the basis of a good number of my cartoons over the next few weeks and months.

The winners have been notified – there may be several people with the same name, so please check your email rather than relying on this list. But the winners were: Bradley Allen, Rural Vicar James, Karen Bowden, Juanita Hawthorne, Rachael Haylock, Elizabeth Rose, Anja, Mike Peatman, Ben, Chris, Jamie Cable, Claire Maxim, Adam, Andrew Openshaw, (12 winners, plus a couple of extras). A special additional prize went to Becky for supplying me with the idea I used in today’s Church Times.

The mystery prizes were extra books and tea towels this time.

I will run another competition before too long, as it is fun, helps me, and I have found a few more sample bits and pieces lying around the place. I will send an email to my newsletter mailing list announcing the next one, so join that if you want to hear about it.

Any additional ideas are always welcomed – just send me an email. I always try to reply to ideas emails, and I will send you the cartoon if you send me an idea I can use.

The picture above is supposed to represent competitive pursuits, by the way. Pew-hurdling was not in any way a part of this competition.

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Cartoon giveaway

2016-giveaway-numbered

It is January, which seems like a good time to give some things away. So here is some cartoon memorabilia which could be yours:

Prizes:

1) One copy of the Dave Walker 2016 calendar containing 12 of my best church-themed cartoons. This is still available from Church House Bookshop if you didn’t manage to get one, and if it hasn’t been reduced in price it will be reduced shortly [Update: £4.99, free UK postage today, Thursday 28th].

2) Two prizes of one pre-production church cartoon mug. Mugs are still very available from Eve2 Media, but these are samples and at the time of writing the only ones of these designs to exist, and therefore unique. The cartoons are: Mug A, Ordination, Mug B, The best ways to escape.

3) Six prizes of one cyclingcartoons.com ‘Bicycles – why you might need more than onetea towel, but please note that these are slight seconds. By this I mean they have minor marks on them which meant I couldn’t sell them, but the marks really are not particularly noticeable. One or two might be printed over a small crease. You’d soon get marks like this anyway in the rough and tumble of the drying-up world.

4) Two prizes of a signed copy of one of my books. If you win one of these I’ll give you a choice of book from the ones I have in stock, and I’ll write a dedication to someone else if you’d like me to. [Aside: my books have free UK postage from Church House Bookshop today, Thursday 28th.]

5) One pre-production sample ‘20 reasons to love cyclingtote bag. The image is legible, but a bit smaller than is ideal, so perfect for those who don’t want anyone to read their tote bag. This is a unique item – these haven’t ever been produced.

Plus… I may add a mystery prize or two. I haven’t decided what this/these is/are yet. Possibly just some junk lying around my office. But I’ll ask you first before sending a box of 25 defunct cables.

How to enter:

  1. Post either a cycling cartoon idea, a church cartoon idea, or any other cartoon idea in the comments below. (It must be on this site, not on social media). Ideas can be a topic you’d like me to cover, or something more finished with descriptions of pictures, etc. Ideas don’t have to be any good.
  2. If you have a prize preference please list the prize numbers in order of preference at the end of your comment, missing out any prizes you don’t want. For example, (3,4,5,2) if you love tea towels, but despise calendars.

Rules:

  • I can change the rules
  • Entires must be made here and not on Facebook/Twitter. Reason: I use a random number generator to choose the winners, and that really only works if all answers are in the same place and not scattered here/there/everywhere. It is also difficult to print tweets out for reference.
  • Prize-winners will be chosen at random from all entries given. I will contact you to ask for a postal address.
  • I reserve the right to use any of the ideas given. When people send me an idea that I use I try to send them an image file of the cartoon, but I sometimes forget.

Closing date: 10pm UK time, Thursday 28 January 2016. I’ll post a list of winners the following day.

If entries don’t appear straight away it is because comments by new commenters are moderated.

Thanks in advance for all ideas given. Ideas sent to me via competitions like this or just via email at other times are always appreciated and make it possible for me to keep this cartooning thing going.

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I have one t-shirt to give away

Standard issue Hymns A&M t-shirt

I have one cartoon t-shirt to give away. It is a standard issue black Hymns Ancient and Modern Greenbelt Bookshop 2011 staff t-shirt, size medium. It has this cartoon (but white on black background) on the front and the word ‘STAFF’ on the back. When worn by a someone like me it looks something like this. It is unworn and in original wrapping. I’ll throw in a few small cartoon bits and bobs too.

All you have to do is post in the comments below by 9am on Friday 16 September (36 hours time) and I’ll choose one person at random using some kind of method involving cutting up tiny pieces of paper and throwing a hat at them (or similar – method to be decided). If you wanted to post a cartoon idea as your comment then that would be lovely, but anything will do.

The ruler in the picture is to show what a wrapped t-shirt looks like when placed next to a NON-SHATTER ruler. Yes, I do have the word ‘RULER’ written on my ruler.

One entry per person. Judges decision final. No cash alternative. Sorry there is only a medium, but that’s all I have – you could give it away to a medium sized person. I reserve the right to think up other rules as I go along.

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How people in certain areas can win my book

Book competition in the Door

A note for readers in Oxfordshire, Berkshire and Buckinghamshire. You can win one of my books by entering the competition in ‘the Door’, which is the diocesan magazine. Failing that it isn’t too late to enter for the Olympics (see lead story, above) if you still have anything in reserve to ‘raise your game’ following my recent demand for 110%.

I’m aware, by the way, that most people can’t enter this competition for geographical reasons. I’ll run one myself before too long so that everyone has the chance.

The Door can be obtained from any branch of the C of E in the above counties. I don’t think that the competition is on the web version so you’ll actually have to go to church to get a copy. While you are there please attend a service, put some money in the collection and join a rota. I was formerly employed in the diocese, being a youth worker in one of the parishes until my retirement, hence my interest.

It is tricky coming up with a name for a diocesan magazine. Things seen around the house can be a good source of inspiration, hence the Door, the Window, and (probably) the Lampstand. In time all of the good names will be used up, and so we will have the Dishwasher or perhaps the Recycling Bin.

Do let me know your ideal diocesan magazine name via the comments. If we get a good list of suggestions we could forward it on to the Church authorities who I’m sure would be glad of the help.

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Results of the CartoonChurch office World Cup sweepstake

Congratulations to the winners of the CartoonChurch office World Cup sweepstake:

  • Sara from the Library
  • Peter from the Pathetic Acronym Creation, Marketing, Advertising and Naming department
  • Eric Davey
  • Nick from The Department for Administrative Affairs

I’ll be in touch with you shortly to ask for addresses for the prizes once I’ve seen what is in the special prize box. There might be a choice of prizes, I’m not sure.

The original sweepstake posts are here and here, in case anyone has no idea what I’m on about.

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The CartoonChurch office World Cup sweepstake country allocations

The CartoonChurch office World Cup sweepstake entries have been counted and verified (whatever that means) and the allocations have been allocated thus:

Brazil
Justin from Complaints
Dave from the Department for Pencil Sharpening and Replenishment
Sir Geoff Boycott (The Aggers Home for Confused Cricketers)

Spain
Sara from the Library
Peter from the Pathetic Acronym Creation, Marketing, Advertising and Naming department
Eric Davey
Nick from The Department for Administrative Affairs

Portugal
Chris from languages training (French section)
Pete from The Square
Sue from IT (Sue, Reader from Birmingham Diocese)

Holland
Phil from the 1st floor cupboard
Stella from the Entertainments Committee
Mark from “Obscure Bible Verses and Mad Prophets Rehabilitation”

Italy
Mouse from the Church
Tara from Animal Control
Bob, from accounts (who becomes ‘Helen from janitorial services’ on the weekends)

Germany
Sandie from quality control
Sara from the chaplaincy department
Chris from Marketing
Jim from Wellness in the Workplace

Argentina
Paul from IT
Benita from Insightful Observations Wing
Andrew Openshaw from European Supply Chain
Eliza from the sewing room

England
Duane from Security
Ellen in ‘breakages’
Lee Martin from the Chaplain’s office

France
James from marketing
Andy from the doctor who department
Helen (from somewhere just left of insanity)

Greece
Rory from International Relations
Donna
Rachael from the Monastery

USA
Martin from Editorial
Stuart from the mass-priest department
Sally from the Pew Sheet Production Department
Mimi from Coffeemaking Dept.

Serbia
Phil from darkest Bristol
ramtopsrac: The Reader in Writing (spare room… end of the cul-de-sac)
Gary Alderson

Uruguay
Ruth, keeper of the post-it notes
Robin from Rochdale
Clare from the Alto line

Mexico
Tom from HR
Charlotte on reception
fredden

Chile
Alasdair from the Coral Research Wing
Jan
Ann Tique from Auctioneering (Z)
Felicity Pickup

Cameroon
Matt from Legal Services
Sam, from Research and Development
Anne, Art Department
Dave the Managing Director

Australia
Andy from the office next door
Nick from The Department of Administrative Affairs
Teddy from Knowledge center

Nigeria
Johanna (diocesan barista)
Ian from Compliance
Nick Page
Dave from packing

Switzerland
Caroline from Inanimate Resources
Wes from the post room
Craig (from the Digital marketing team)

Slovenia
Sarah from the office
Phil Ritchie from spherical inflatables dept
Kate from Geeks & Gadgets

Ivory Coast
Magnus from IT
Sarah, the girl from IT
Jackie the Chief Product Tester (Chocolate Sub-Division)
Sheena from Tartan Tat sales

Algeria
Aaron from Incense and Monstrance Testing Dept
David from Accounts
Sarah from the Canteen

Paraguay
Graham from the Special Projects & Implementation Team
John the Trade Union rep
Ben (not yet departed)

Ghana
Ann from grandparent services
Simon (archivist)
Margaret from Animating Horticulture

Slovakia
Sue Mortimore
Wilf from Legal
Rosie, secretarial/musical/administrative facilitator

Denmark
Rachel, Tea and Sticky Bun Lady
Fiona Department for Cat Herding (coordination of youth development)
Ian from Dept of World Domination

Honduras
Phill from IT
Chris from youth services
Reg from IT support

Japan
Debbie, Kitchen Porter
Lee the Future Tactics Supervisor
Steve from Counter Industrial Espionage Division
Doofas from Catering Services

South Korea
Farli from the chair-moving, photocopying and liturgical compliance department
Russ (aka Noddy from The Small Office No-one Goes In)
Sue from the Retirement Association
hopeeternal -Receptionist etc. (aka ‘handing out tea & sympathy, fielder of phone calls & doorstep enquiries department’ aka Vicar’s wife)

New Zealand
Bob from Cashiers
Sarah from R&D
Joel from Expenses Management

South Africa
Val – Operations systems support distribution co-ordinator
Anthony from Logistics
Paul from Printing

North Korea
Nexi from the attic (and former baptist times cartoonist)
Smudgie, keeper of the COSHH cupboard key
sarah – development facilitator
James from Photocopying

Notes:

  • If I’ve missed anyone who entered or got your name wrong let me know. I can’t accept further entries now I’m afraid. Click here if you can’t remember what name you used!
  • A huge vote of thanks needs to go to my wife who did a lot of all of the hard work of putting this list together.
  • How it was done: The countries were numbered randomly, and then the people were numbered randomly, and the two lists were brought together. In the end a container was not used.
  • This includes both entries on both the web page and Facebook group.
  • There were some commenters who may just have been larking around and didn’t want to be entered. I’m afraid you have been.
  • The countries have been listed here in order of FIFA ranking – I know, all terribly advanced. Not my doing. If your country is near the top of the list you might have a slightly better chance than if it’s at the bottom.
  • Further announcements on the progress of the CartoonChurch office sweepstake will be made on Twitter using the hashtag #cartoonchurchsweepstake – please feel free to join in with in-depth punditry etc.
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The CartoonChurch office World Cup sweepstake

We support the football... and Christianity

I’ve decided, for my own idle amusement, to run a World Cup sweepstake here in my office in the heart of Industrial Basildon. Unfortunately, as I am the only one who works here it has the potential to be less than enthralling. As things stand I will have an approximate 100% chance of winning, which does remove a certain element of excitement. I have therefore decided to open the sweepstake up to friends and readers of this blog.

In order to make my sweepstake legal it is free to enter (See Is your office World Cup sweepstake legal?). This might mean it is not technically a sweepstake, I’m not sure.

All you have to do to enter is write a comment in the comment section below. To make it more interesting please indicate your department (‘Bob from accounts’, Helen from janitorial services’ etc).

Countries will be allocated randomly by picking names out of a container of some sort (details of container to be decided). If we get more than 24 32 entrants there will need to be some doubling up, so you’ll have to share your country with someone else. I will close entries at the end of Monday.

The prize will be a small selection of cartoon goodies of my choosing. I will send them anywhere in the world. On the unlikely offchance I get hundreds of entries I reserve the right to make the prize fairly… small. I also reserve the right to add additional rules on my merest whim.

Pundits can discuss the progress of the CartoonChurch office sweepstake on Twitter using the hashtag #cartoonchurchsweepstake

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Calendar competition winners

calendar

I’m pleased to announce that I have at long last chosen the winners of my calendar competition. They are commenter no 8, Kate, commenter no 13, Z, and commenter no 26, Peter Banks. All 62 blog commenters and 17 Facebook commenters were included (repeats excluded), and I chose the winners using random.org.

I will send the winners their calendars once I have got their addresses and overcome any administrative delays.

Sorry to those who didn’t win. However, I have noticed that the calendars are on sale at Canterbury Press for the bargain price of £2.50. Good heavens! [UK postage £2.50 per order up to £50.]

As an aside I note that they are not currently available on Amazon, but remain at no 44 in the ‘Books > Food & Drink > Baking > Bread’ category. One of my lifetime goals was to be a top 50 bread baking author. Now I have achieved that I will need to seek a new direction. I will think about that whilst I have a cup of tea and a ‘bought yesterday in the sale’ Mr Kipling mince pie (currently 6 for 50p in Tesco).

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Small widget competition answer

I’ve really enjoyed all of your competition answers – thank you.

Kennedy Fraser got the answer right, although most of you were winners too with your entertaining answers. Here’s the widget in its final resting place:

widget

The widget was the piece I was missing to make the gears work on one of my bicycles, hence the joy. Unfortunately the gears still do not work properly as I am not very good Sturmey Archer adjuster.

The bicycle is my circa 1976 Raleigh Twenty Stowaway folding bicycle. I bought it from eBay for about £43.

raleigh twenty stowaway

It is one of two and a half folding bikes I own (the half is a scrap raleigh twenty which I’m using for parts). It does not fold very well, but I plan to use it when I go places and want to lock a folding bicycle outside. I quite like the challenge of bringing the old fashioned granny shopper bike back into vogue. Other people have done so in far more convincing ways – see Sheldon Brown’s Raleigh Twenty page, and in the UK Littlepixel’s one.

I have a more sophisticated folding bike about which I might write more another time. I am a great believer in folding bicycles – see for example this post and some of the ones in my cycling category. I will perhaps write more about how I believe folding bicycles can save the world at some other point if anyone shows the mildest bit of interest.

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