Chutney panic

We have a huge number of jobs to do around the house. The whole place is a shambles.

So we have decided to spend the afternoon making chutney.

It is all a bit stressful though, as the similarity between us and people who know what they are doing is minimal. This is despite the fact that we have a recipe from my Mum for apple chutney and also despite the fact that my wife is a domestic goddess. Causes for concern:

• Will the jars be sterilised properly?
• Can ordinary jars withstand the heady heights of one hundred degrees centigrade?
• Is the whole mixture too liquiddy?
• How long does chutney keep anyway?
• Will the greaseproof paper make a proper seal at the top of the jars?
• Did we really need that much ginger?
• Will dinner be ready before Midsomer murders?
• “David, will you come and help please rather than sitting there writing on your blog?”

If this recipe works I may post it on the internet (if my Mum agrees). We might auction a jar on eBay. If not this will probably be the last you hear about it. Unless I give it away in a competition.