What happened to Archbishop Rowan's letter?

It appears as if Archbishop Akinola did not get the letter from Archbishop Rowan telling him to change his travel plans. Possibilities: Archbishop Rowan did not post the letter early enough. Archbishop Rowan gave the letter to one of his minions to post, who forgot to do so. The letter remains inside the jacket pocket…

It appears as if Archbishop Akinola did not get the letter from Archbishop Rowan telling him to change his travel plans.

Possibilities:

  • Archbishop Rowan did not post the letter early enough.
  • Archbishop Rowan gave the letter to one of his minions to post, who forgot to do so. The letter remains inside the jacket pocket of said minion and will remain there until the minion gives his jacket to his mum to wash, probably in about 3 or 4 months time.
  • Archbishop Rowan did not affix a stamp.
  • Archbishop Rowan was badly advised by his advisors, and did not affix the correct stamp.
  • Archbishop Rowan did not lick the stamp properly, so it fell off.
  • Archbishop Rowan, in a moment of forgetfulness, addessed the letter to the wrong Bishop, one who had made no travel plans to go anywhere, let alone to Virginia to do any installing. Said Bishop will keep the letter for 14 or 15 years before selling it on ebay as a curiosity.
  • The post box into which the letter was posted was set alight by a gang of youths, probably the same ones who drive around Leigh-on-Sea on a Tuesday night.
  • Archbishop Akinola has a postbox at the end of his driveway which is not terribly secure, so that sometimes his mail goes missing.
  • Archbishop Akinola finds opening his post a terrible chore, and so saves it up and does it all in one go once a month. The letter is sitting there unopened.
  • Archbishop Akinola misread the letter as he was not wearing his correct spectacles. He therefore thought that Archbishop Rowan was wishing him a good trip and suggesting ways of being upgraded to business class for nothing.
  • The Nigerian postal people delivered the letter to the wrong Archbishop, one who had made no travel plans to go anywhere, let alone to Virginia to do any installing. Said Archbishop will keep the letter for 14 or 15 years before selling it on ebay as a curiosity.
  • There was no letter in the first place.
  • There was no letter in the first place, there were never any Bishops in the first place, there was never an Anglican Communion in the first place. It was all just a dream.

2 Comments

  2. I don’t know about the letter, David, but I do know there’s another problem. I live in Maryland, and I’ve noticed that little bits of Virginia seem to have disappeared–just vanished leaving neat little holes. I understand they’re taking these little bits out quietly and re-assembling them over in Nigeria. Virginia could end up looking like a piece of Swiss cheese–a hole here, a hole there. It’s embarrassing because Queen Elizabeth is visiting, and I’m sure they wanted Virginia to look its best during her stay. I’d write more, but I have to hurry over to my bank. I’m withdrawing my life savings to assist a poor widow lady who needs help getting her money out of…hmm, it says “Nigeria” in this email.

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