Why we should ban fireworks

Can We Ban Fireworks Please says top political blogger Kerron Cross. I agree. The beginning of November sees the usual spate of vandalism, lost pets, thuggery and minor acts of terrorism caused by stupid people with fireworks. The loss of life and limb and burden on the emergency services is unacceptable.

The sale of fireworks should be limited to professionals. If it were my decision I might perhaps allow firework use by those who pass some sort of special test designed to weed out idiots. A three hour written exam paper, coursework and practical tests would be included. There would be compulsory seminars on such topics as ‘Calculating firework trajectories using trignometry’, ‘101 tips for sensible storage of matches’ and ‘Safe distances I have kept’.